Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Wolstenholme]

Granted but the "evil teams" actually have authority and no one can stop them.

I wish Sebatian Vettel wasn't a good driver.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, he's now a great driver. Hey, you wish that he wasn't a good driver....

I wish I had more energy.

[Wolstenholme]

He's already a great driver. That's why I don't like him... no one stands a chance.

Granted but when you finally do go to sleep you time travel all the way back to the big bang.

I wish I had some awakenings right now, my Espurr is sleeping and I can't be bothered to switch her out.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but they are all wasted on a sleeping snorlax.

I wish I had pokemon X

[Wolstenholme]

Granted but you have no 3(or 2)DS.

I wish Team Flare would get out of my way.

[SirBlaziken]

(No problem, I could borrow from my brother)

Granted, but team plasma is there instead.

I wish that I could think of a wish.

[Reluctant Wailord]

Granted, but the thought is so gut-wrenchingly horrible you're put off of lunch, and it's a really nice lunch.

I wish for tree fiddy.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but it's invisible.

I wish for money.

[NTN]

Granted. But it's fake.

I wish a big fat Slurpuff would fall on Wobbin.

[Jackal]

Granted, but you two were close together

I wish for an ant farm

[NTN]

Gwanted, but I said "gwanted" instead of "granted."

I wish you would fall down a staircase and be completely unharmed.

[Jackal]

Granted, but I also dropped my ice cream

I wish I could tame Godzilla

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but king kong crushes you.

I wish king kong crushed Jackal.

[Jackal]

Granted, but King Kong was thrashed by Godzilla.

I wish I was better at Tekken

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but in Soviet Russia, Tekken was better at you.

I wish people would get that reference.