Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[glash101]

Granted but it was corrupted.

I wish to be corrupted like mad.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but you turn into Alfred E. Neuman

I wish for cake

[Spriter]

Granted, the cake is a lie =P

I wish for an invisible cape.

[SirBlaziken]

granted, but you trip over it.

I wish the cake wasn't a lie

[glash101]

Not granted.

I wish I wasn't Alfred E Neumen.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but you are now Adolf Hitler

I wish that the cake wasn't a lie, and you have to grant the wish.

[glash101]

Granted But the cake is alive now.

I wish that I was Alfred E. Neumen but you had to grant this wish.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but everybody hates you

I wish I had a fork (to eat the cake)

[quack98]

Granted, but it's a fork in the road 

I wish for a real capture styler!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but it only works in Almia, Oblivia, or the other pokemon ranger region.

I wish for a real life blaziken.

[quack98]

Granted, but it only lives in Hoenn

I wish for a capture styler that works in the UK 

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but as soon as you try to use it, it explodes


I wish that I was eating cake, right now.

[Meowstic Royalty]

Granted, but you choke.

I wish this post was revived.

[SirBlaziken]

Granted but your computer crashes.

I wish for mind reading powers.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. The government soon finds out about your powers, captures you, and subjects you to extremely painful test. You now pray for death....

I wish for a limited edition blue Xernas 3DS XL!