Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Hitmonchu]

Granted but your house turns into spaghetti.
I wish for a 

[SirBlaziken]

Granted but it kills you

I wish this game made sense

[Hitmonchu]

Granted, but it doesn't for another 3565674756765787698797856786984 years.
I wish to be able to type é

[quack98]

Granted, but it makes your iPad unresponsive (your on ipad, right? If so, you just hold down e and it allows you to choose an accent)

I wish for my dog to stop being a moron

[SirBlaziken]

granted but now your stupid!

I wish for a cake

[quack98]

Granted, but the cake is a lie.

I wish for a million rupees!

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but they are only valid in hyrule

i wish for people to actually understand me

[quack98]

Granted, but in the process you change gender.

I wish for a hotdog

[Hitmonchu]

Granted but it's made of cat meat.
I wish for more space on my computer.

[quack98]

Granted, but it's literal space rather than memory space.

I wish for a large 10 scoop chocolate ice cream, that doesn't melt and isn't made of anything wierd

[SirBlaziken]

Granted, but I eat it!

I wish that I could order fries with that

[quack98]

Granted, but they are chili cheese fries, and are too spicy to eat.

I wish for a birdarang that isn't going to kill me, or eat me or be eaten, and is made out of the proper materials...

[SirBlaziken]

Yay spicy!

Granted but it is inedible

I wish for hot sauce

[Hitmonchu]

Granted but I drink it
I wish for WATER!!!!!

[quack98]

Yay spicy!

Granted but it is inedible

Birdarangs are inedible anyway; they're Robins Batarangs.

Granted, but due to the Hydrogen molecules being of a less stable isotope of hydrogen (e.g. tritium) the imbalance in the nature of the electrons means it behaves in an irregular fashion.

I wish for Francium