Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[master1]

Granted. But you're so good nobody understands how good it is and thinks you're crap.

I wish I was a cat. Meowmeaowmeow, neko neko desu~.

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but you have one eye, six legs, four ears, and half a tail.

I wish I was less bored.

[master1]

Granted. *a gang comes a beats you up*
Now you're traumatised instead. :3

I wish I didn't have a throat infection. TT

[ShinyKecleon]

Lol, Richie, I think that happens with my writing anyway >.>

Granted, but you now have a tumor in multiple places. Not to mention more STDs than have been discovered and a wicked goiter.

Edit: OH, my wish. Crud.

I wish that this lamp would stop flickering.

[Massacre\\♥]

granted.
it stopped flickering,
but instead caught on fire.

i wish i had spanish the whole school year,
so i would have riley in at least one of my classes,
the whole year. :<

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but Riley commits suicide.

I wish this wish won't be horribly corrupted.

[ShinyKecleon]

Granted, but the Government jumps in, so there's nothing we can do now.

I wish could learn every word in the English language in an instant.

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but you brain explodes.

I wish I knew everything without my brain exploding.

[ShinyKecleon]

Granted, but again the Government interferes and drafts you into their secret Area 51 research service... have fun.

God, I wish I could stop incorporating the government into all my wishes.

[HereForNostalgia]

Granted, but the government comes after you for doing so.

I wish i could have a pet wolf.

[master1]

Granted but it's feral and eats you.

I wish I didn't keep getting post-sniped. D:

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but the wolf eats you. (We all saw it coming)

I wish I was a better spriter.

SNIPED

Granted, but I get sniped as well and you get the curse back a few seconds after.

Spriter.

[Webby]

Granted, but your sprites are auto-saved as being JPEG so your magical skills can never be recognised.

I wish I could go to a Kate Voegele concert. ;-;

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, but Kate Voegele cancels the day before and you go to a Beethoven Tribute Concert.

I wish I was all-powerful.

[HereForNostalgia]

Granted, but your body overloads with all the power.

I wish i could get a good nights sleep.