Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Uncle Garnetto]

Too easy
Granted, you have the ice cream used in the viral 2 girls 1cup... In your face!

I wish I could date Karen Gillian.

[lugia95]

Granted. You date her, the date goes horribly, she dumps you, and you fall into a state of eternal depression.

I wish for a working, non-foreign copy of Pokemon White and a working, non-foreign, 3DS to play it on.

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted, but the police see it and, believing it is a bomb, shoot you. This spurs riots, starting like last years riots, But progressing to full blown war between the government and the people. In an attempt to contain us, the government places us in 13 districts. When the rebellion continues, they destroy district 13 as an example. They then force each district to give a boy and a girl each year to fight to the death. This carets on for 74 years till... Read the hunger games trilogy to get the rest, I cba typing all 3 books worth of events up.
Th point is, all that suffering, just cos you wanted a games console.

I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
More

[lugia95]

Granted, but Disney sue you for quoting the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I wish it was the end of June 2012.

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted, but the missing month and a half cause a gap in time that causes cracks in time and space destroying everything within a week.

I wish I could touch MC Hammer

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Unfortunately for you it was a "BAD" touch and Hammer slams you with a multi billion dollar lawsuit and you are then sentence 10000000000000000000000 years in proson without a possibility of parole!

I wish I had a new computer.

[hermesguy]

Granted, but it's H.A.L and he kills you.

I wish for non-foreign copies of every single mainstream Pokemon game, and non-foreign consoles to play them on, and a means to get event only Pokemon.

(I will win, Lugia95...)

[lugia95]

(No, no you will not.)

Granted. You now have every event only Pokemon. In real life. Of course, taking all the legendaries out of their natural habitat only makes them angry, and they destroy both you and the games/consoles you got through the wish before you have the chance to play them.

I wish for the Professor Layton/Phoenix Wright cross-over to be released in Britain today, and for HMV to stock enough that I can buy it.

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted... It costs £1000 and is awful.

I wish I was drunk

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You are drunk....












...In jail!

I wish I had a Yorkie Puppy!

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted, you have a tiny yorkie chocolate bar.

I wish for the universe to explode.

[Ichigo Kurosaki]

Wish granted, but we moved to another universe just in time.

I wish I was a cat called Angelkit.

[spritey]

Granted. You get killed in cat form.

I wish for an orange.

[Sizacu]

Granted. When you come near it, it squirts its juice more or less into your eye as a self-defence mechanism thing.

I wiiiish for a Magnum.

[spritey]

Granted. Trojans are better, but you can still have a Magnum. It's been used. ==D:

I wish I could sleep.