Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[IceRain]

Granted but eventually everyone you knew and loved dies and you also have the worst of luck and something bad happens to you every day =D

sniped F____________!

Granted but everyone laughs at how silly you look as they punch you in the face for no reason =P

I wish I was playing Emerald right now :<

[ShinyKecleon]

Granted, but you'll never make it past Wallace. Ever.

I wish my art project was magically finished :L

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but the material they are made from contains poison.
That'll teach you to break my brain!

I wish I could understand Bluffy's RP.

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but you poison half the city and the mayor sends you to jail for the rest of your life or the end of the world. Whichever comes first.

I wish I could go to Hogwarts.

[master1]

Granted, but you are a muggle and to protect the secrets of magic, they turn you into a goldfish.

I wish I had a Bulbasaur.

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, But three hundred people start to fight over it and kill you.

I wish I was a good artist.

[+anima: Cooro]

granted, but your art is so good it can't be seen by the human eye.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

[PokeSurfer]

Granted, now you have to go to prison!

I wish my old French teacher got better to teach us and waste the lesson by rambling on about France! =D

[Pandemonium]

granted... but your school will self-destruct in 3...2...1...

i wish i didn't bite my nails ._.

[master1]

Granted. You now have the urge to bite the nails of bears. Have fun. ^^

I wish I had a multi-layered CD to burn off all this junk on the PC to.

[Pandemonium]

granted, but each layer is only 2 kilobytes

i wish i was making a better wish

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but your wish is so good the world selfdestructs!!!

I wish I was smart, but still cool.

[Massacre\\♥]

granted but soon your brain explodes,
because you're so smart and it can't hold so much info.
i wish spanish didn't end this wednesday :>

[Webby]

Granted, Wednesday no longer exists. Which means Spanish never ends. But he ends up leaving the class anyway (I had to make this wish corrupt somehow. >.< )

I wish I could write a composition for my own orchestra.

[Alexi: Crazier by the Day]

Granted, but it's horrible and people cut off your head in offense.

I wish I had an non-poisonous, non-diseased bar of chocolate.