Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[OpallapO]

Granted, but someone steals it and you are forced to sleep a hard floor for eternity (or until you buy a new bed)

I wish I was James Bond.

[MzLuluZombi]

Granted, but you will never find love.  Ever.  Kiss your soul mate goodbye.

Oh, and everything you own has a self-destruct button.

I wish for a steak.

[OpallapO]

Granted, but it's really, really, really small and it's covered in loads of mustard. Really strong mustard.

I wish that time would slow down so I could get everything done. For once.

[MzLuluZombi]

Granted, but when time speeds back up again everyone is still the same, but you are now 150 years old.

I wish to a bubble bath.

[OpallapO]

Granted, but the bubbles become Froakie's collar-thingie and Froakie appears and invades with all of his Froakie-mates and then shoots ice cold water at you. And yeah.

I wish for Trainer customization on X and Y. That would be cool.

[Petzbreeder]

Granted, but eveyone chooses to look exactly the same as you!

I wish to gain Runecrafting experience quicker in Runescape so that I'll be level 91 already.
(even though I'm only 1 level away to begin with!)

[TordenOfItami]

Granted, but Jagex kicks you off Runescape because you made everyone realize they can just do that also.

I wish I had a shiny pokemon.

[ajeeth23]

Dull people can't have shiny Pokémon.

I wish I get a 3DS XL for free.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get a broken one from the dumpster.

I wish for a Yorkie puppy!

[ajeeth23]

Granted. You'll get a dead one.

I wish Pokémon X and Y release in August.

(Sorry for not posting before, I'm new, I forgot).

[OpallapO]

Granted, but they are really bad because the GameFreak team didn't have enough time to make them awesome... then you chuck it out the window because it is so awful and your window smashes and then you have to pay for another window. Ouch.

I wish for some chocolate cake.

[Hitmonchu]

Granted, but it's addictive and you stuff yourself to death.
I wish to be a better Pokemon spriter.

[Indianaanimefan]

Granted, but it turns out it's actually a disguised virus program and it infects your whole computer deleting and corrupting everything and infecting every computer that its near.

I wish my brother would hurry and call me and tell me if he's on his way home yet.

[Hitmonchu]

Granted, but he tells you he's committing suicide, and then shoots himself over the phone.

I wish for another wish.

[ajeeth23]

Granted, but the genie from the lamp kills you for asking.

I wish GTA V releases for the PC.