Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Mondo Oowada]

Well then, you have necromancy, but you fall randomly into the Grand Canyon. I wish to die.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted. You reincarnate and still wanna die.

I wish for a random fruit.

[Mondo Oowada]

Justin Bieber appears at your doorstep. I want infinite wishes.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted but if you noticed, we all have infinite wishes.

I wish for a pony that can beat a giant robot that fires missiles.

[Mondo Oowada]

Granted. The pony can beat the robot, but it is currently asleep and bursts, upon contact with a missile, into a brilliant flurry of flames. The robot begins to chase you. I wish for anybody who corrupts this wish to die.

[Sizacu]

Granted, but it can't be corrupted because there's nothing to corrupt in the first place.

I wish for some soya milk c:

[Mondo Oowada]

Granted. The soy milk turns to acid and spills into your mouth. How very gruesome. I wish for nothing.

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get nothing!

I wish I had money!

[Mondo Oowada]

You get one penny, but as you are suddenly in Hawaii for some reason, it melts in a volcano. I still wish for nothing.

[♥MotionlessInWhite♥]

 You get a bowl of ramen! Ha, you have something now!
I wish for some ramen...

[Mondo Oowada]

Haha! I tricked you! *slurps ramen* As for your wish, I toss a single saliva-covered, half eaten ramen noodle at you, then I spill the leftover broth on your head.

[♥MotionlessInWhite♥]

 Oh sad.
I wish for my hair to be clean since he dumped ramen broth all over my head.

[Mondo Oowada]

It is clean. I spill more ramen on you after it is clean. I wish for nothing.

[Nightmare Eater]

Granted. You dissappear into oblivion.

I wish for a motorcycle/bike.

[Mondo Oowada]

I am magically brought back from oblivion. The motorcycle runs you over. I wish to grant my own wishes, to have multiple wishes in one post, and to be completely invincible.