Make a Wish. Have it horribly corrupted.

[Draghost999]

Wish granted!! What you wanna know how it was corrupted... why do you care??

i dont care at all and i never will

Granted. Too bad I ssomethingt out cheese in your mouth, and you're so grossed out you can never say cheese again.

I wish I could peel your mouth off like a sticker.

[TordenOfItami]

Granted, but it still talks and haunts you.

I wish I could find a shiny pokemon

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted. You find a shiny rayquaza in the wild. Such a rarity is impossible to catch, even with a master ball. It flees. No-one believes you about it

I wish I was on the uss enterprise-D (Picard's ship)

[Brawlimar]

Granted but it blows up when you set foot on it.

I wish that my computer is not a mushi, so Ginko doesn't come and tell me that he'll help me when he'll just end up accidently killing everyone instead.

[hermesguy]

Granted, it's an abacus.

I wish for supah speed!

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted. You go supah fast, but can't stop

I wish I was a kriptonian

[Brawlimar]

Granted, but you blew up when the planet was destroyed.

I wish I was the Martian Manhunter.

[hermesguy]

Granted, but before you can change shape, someone sees and shoots you.

I wish there was a Marvel New 52! X'(

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted... It sucks???

I wish I could find MY sky remote anytime I want

[hermesguy]

Granted, but I don't know what a sky remote is, so it's a gaint chicken leg instead.

I wish for world peace, bro!

[Petzbreeder]

Granted, the world is peaceful. So peaceful in fact that there is no-one else left in it but you.

I wish that I could cast spells like the Charmed Ones without the consequences of personal gain.

[Uncle Garnetto]

Granted, but then the triad kill you. As they have the power of 3 and you dont, they win

I wish for a chicken, prepared and cooked to perfection.

[Draghost999]

granted. its poisonous, fool.

i wish for a used condom in the below poster's mouth.

[Petzbreeder]

Gross, but ok.

Granted, but it isn't put in my mouth. Its put in yours instead!

I wish for a Violent Violet Violin! (Random, I know. I couldn't think of anything else!)

[Sizacu]

Granted - you go to court for not taming your violin before it terrorised your neighbourhood.

I wish for more permanent weather.